If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
whose ass print is on the piano?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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