you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
