i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
