i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
well you can't waste a boner
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
