i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
