No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
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