Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
