singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
