her vagine was all disorganized.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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