There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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