You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize