I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
