i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
