It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
