Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
