so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
