sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
