i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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