If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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