She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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