If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
