the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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