no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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