My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
