Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize
