I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
