So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
