Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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