Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
