The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize