it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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