Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
