First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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