R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
