On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize