hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
