Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
