Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

Um...??

(402): View more from Nebraska

She's excited

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(773): View more from Illinois

So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.

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(707): View more from California

Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.

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(208): View more from Idaho

when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"

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(907): View more from Alaska

There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010

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(778): View more from British Columbia

working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Also I found and fixed my beer gun.

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(406): View more from Montana

I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me

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