just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
