I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
