I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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