I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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