just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
