he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
