I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
