:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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