Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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