There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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