You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
