why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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