he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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