I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
