that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
