i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
