Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
