S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
