My pussy is not your playground.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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