Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
