You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
