Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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