you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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