ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
